Monday, August 15, 2005

Paganism/Wicca; My views

First of all, let me address something that bothers me very much about not just this community, but all religions in general. "I'm right and you're not". WHY? Aren't we all individuals and don't we all have the desire for our own versions to be correct in our lives? Even the most perfect person can only be that way in their own life. Even they cannot tell another how to live, what to believe, and how to act. We can take examples from others to form our perceptions around, but doesn't it all come down to the fact that no one else can get inside our brains, our experiences and tell us what works for us individually? Think long and hard about these things.

Paganism/Wicca --- these are my views alone.
The earth is my Mother, the sky my Father, the rain and sun my Life Force, the vegetation and animals my Brothers and Sisters, the Universe my Teacher.
Ritual----candles, incense, herbs, the cauldron, the athame, stones and crystals, being "skyclad", the magick of the Elementals, flowers, Universal Energy, Ancestral aid, gods and goddesses.....myself as the center and receiver of all positve energy to change my life for the better, helping others through Magick, Tarot, Touch, if they request it (no, I do not do love spells---for you should never try to control another).
Being Open Minded, Non-Judgemental (except to mean people and pediphiles and rapists)
Trusting everyone, being friendly to everyone until they hurt me....then I simpley let them live their lives without my friendship and help. Soiunds egotisticle, but just a way for me to protect myself.
Not worrying about what everyone else thinks.....this works for me in my life....yes, it is that simple.
Yes, Nature can be cruel, but not just is what it is. The cat Will tease and kill the mouse....the porcupine Will chew on the tree until the tree is ruined....animals get rabies or other killling diseases...floods do happen....people are killed.
Did you ever think that Nature is this way for a reason. People say they have to cull the deer population because there are too many.....maybe there are too many people who have killed the natural preditors.....maybe there are too many people PERIOD. Disease is Nature's way of 'culling the herd'---people are part of Nature----disease kills people---HMMMM. Now there is something to contemplate!!
It is sad when someone we love dies, but I do not believe that our energy, our life force, our "soul" ends with death. Now maybe that is just a carry over from my Christian upbringing, but I do believe that everything has a certain amount of energy that continues and, perhaps, is reincarnated.
Gods and Goddesses----they would be nothing without someone believing in them. But, the more energy that is put into a god or goddess, the stronger they become, whether it is positve or negative energy values placed upon them. We make them what we believe them to be.
WORDS MATTER---EVERYTHING you say, EVERYTHING you do has consequences. Give a child a dirty look and see how you change that childs attitude. Give a child a hug and see how they respond. Treat an animal with respect and see just how intelligent they can become (actually they are very intelligent, people don't give them the credit due), constantly berate an animal and see how cowardly or mean they become, cut down a tree and see how many insects and birds you harm.

No I am not a vegetarian! Why? Because I cannot live without meat, but then again maybe I should have died years ago. My views on using animals for food. Raise them yourself or buy free range meat. Treat the animal with respect and give them the best life you can give them. Kill humanely!!! Thank the animal's spirit for sustaining your life.
It is all Nature's way of controlling earth and the beings who live here.
PEOPLE ARE NOT SUPERIOR TO ANIMALS OR NATURE!!! We must all live together on this planet. The Native Americans had it right--we do not own the Earth, we are part of the Earth---if we decimate other species, we will be destroying ourselves.
......more views on Pagainism/Wicca to follow soon......

Religion As I See It

WOW!!! What a subject for me to get into.
I have had so many different experiences with religions, mostly Christian, but am now not a Christian.
Now, before you say "You are going to hell if you don't repent and get right with the lord."- Read this! Besides, what right do you have judging me. Doesn't your own book, the Bible, tell you "Judge not, lest ye be judged"?
Jesus taught love and tolerence, yet I am very hard pressed to find a True Christian.

First of all, I was raised a lax Lutheran and then one of Jehovah's Witnesses during my childhood. What a combination that was. From, anything you do is okay as long as you go to church on Sunday and are confirmed when you are 13 years old---to everything is wrong, everything you have been taught is wrong, we are the only ones who have the truth, and you can't even watch a movie without worrying about demons.
After leaving home at 17 years of age, I was without religion of any kind for a few years, went back and tried Jehovah's Witnesses again--REALLY TRIED---but you are never good enough. Then I lost my twin daughters. One reason the doctors didn't even try to save them was because I was brainwashed into believing that blood transfusions were completely against God's Law. I blame myself for being so stupid as to believe this and going along with it, but I also blame the people who taught me that it would be a sin against their god, against the twin's souls, and against my soul, to allow the doctors to try to save my girls lives. So instead I had a funeral for them.
That was in 1977 and I still mourn for them.
After that, I went into a deep depression and finally came to the decision to either kill myself or leave my alcoholic, abusive husband and get a divorce so I could start my life over----both of which, by the way, are against Jehovah's Witnesses beliefs.
After meeting my second husband, I "found" Jesus (didn't even know he was lost). I became a born-again, tongue speaking, ultra religious, judgemental, preacher of the "Word". I taught Jesus love every where and to whom ever would listen. I prayed, went to church three or more times a week, was the best Christian I could be, studied the Bible in depth, tried to convert people, and lived everyday never being as perfect as I could be, always failing, always feeling guilty, always trying harder to be something that was impossible to be. And never getting the answers I needed. But, being told that was the mystery of faith, that all I had to do was believe harder, have more faith, give more to the church, pray more. It didn't work kids. Like I said, I was judgemental, especially against gay people. Guess what! The Universe placed several gay people in my life. My eyes were opened to the fact that sexuallity has absolutely nothing to do with being a wonderful, loving person. My best bud in the world is still my friend. He doesn't like labels, but he has struggled for years with his sexuallity. I've learned to just be there to support (no matter what), help when asked, not judge on sexuallity, just be there when needed.
The one thing I'd like to say to everyone who judges another, for whatever reason, is: Clean up your own life, be the best person You know how to be, learn, learn, learn (not just what you think you believe in, but about every lifestyle, every religion, every viewpoint)---WITH AN OPEN MIND!!!
Getting back to my experience with religion: I again became disallusioned and depressed with everything. My son was still disabled, I was still living in poverty, my second husband didn't come back to me, I still had a dibilitating disease---my life was hell and God/Jesus just didn't seem to care.
Then I met my present partner. His son had gotten a book from the library called "Wicca: A Solitary's Guide".
It taught me that we are responsible for our own lives, we make our own futures, our own happiness, but we can ask the Universe and Nature to show us the Path to Knowledge and Wisdom. I was so impressed that I copied the entire book longhand so that he could return it to the library.
We moved to Florida where I found a little shop, I guess you would call it "New Age" where I started taking classes on the Elementals, Meditation, Past Life Regressions, Tarot, Runes, Wicca and other forms of Paganism.
WOW! (Thank you, Deborah.)
I am very seldom depressed, take responsibility for my own life, past and present, learn from my mistakes, go with the flow and take every day as it comes.
I believe that Nature is our friend and Mother, not our enemy. I believe that we ARE responsible for our own lives, not some being in the heavens or a devil. We can be kind, good, caring, loving, and helpful without being "saved" or part of a group. I do believe in Universal Law---"whatever you do, be it good or bad, will comes back to you times three." I will not say that you are wrong in your belief, because if it works for you and is good for your life, wonderful. But don't tell me that what you believe is good for me. You do not know me. You have not lived in my life or experienced the things that I have experienced. IT'S ALL RELATIVE!!! What is relative and good in your life is for you and no one else, not even your children or your spouse. Each of us is an individual and have experienced our life in our own way. You can take five children raised in the same family the same way, but each has experienced their life and upbringing individually. So please don't profess to know what is right and good for anyone else. Take care of the best you can be....and let others find their own way. Yes, you can give them information, but it is up to each person to know what works for them and it is a crime to teach only one religion to anyone. Just because I'm different than you does not make me bad or evil.
Is my life all hugs and kisses? No. But, I can choose to be happy in whatever situation life hands me. Do I still get depressed? Sometimes. When things go wrong, my partner is being a craphead, if someone I love doesn't seem to care, the usual life things.....yes, sometimes I get depressed. BUT (and that's a big but) it doesn't last long. It seems when things aren't going well, the Universe puts something beautiful in my life.
To learn more on Paganism go to or contact me and we'll discuss.....NO PREACHERS PLEASE (I mean people who will judge me and want to talk at me without listening to anything anyone else has to say, i.e. closed minded people), I have, as previously stated, done much study and have made my choice based on knowledgable education.
Religion is here to teach us some ways to make a better life for ourselves, not to rule our lives. No one religion is right for everyone. Even each sect within a religion is not right for everyone. So don't tell me you have all the answers, I sure as hell don't, and do not believe that anyone does. Each of us learn in our own fashion. All we as individuals do is try to make life happier for those around us and ourselves. We can cooperate with anyone, as long as they don't try to "be the boss and know-it-all."
Manifest Destiny and Divine Right is just someone's way of saying: "I want to control what you believe and I have the right to lord what I believe over everyone. If you don't believe the way I do, I'll kill you, put you in jail, and persecute you into changing." What a crock!!!!

Who Are You?

The short version of "ME"

Fifty-three year old female, 220 lbs, graying short dirty blonde hair, green eyes, glasses. some day I mi8ght put up a picture, but do not believe in judging others by their looks, so appreciate the same in others. I am a light smoker, do not drink alcohol except A glass of wine or A beer once in a while.
I went to high school in Viroqua, Wisconsin. Did not graduate due to a horrendous home life and many emotional upsets at the time. Since then I have gone back to college for a aemester,after receiving my G.E.D., and proved to myself that I was not stupid as I had been led to believe. Grade point average was 3.7 woo-hoo. I would have graduated from high school in 1970, by the way.
I was married the first time to a man from Coon Valley, Wisconsin. It was a way for me to get out of working-ha ha. This proved to be a disaster! I stayed with him for 9 miserable year, had several miscarriages, lost twin daughters (born three months prematurely), had a few affairs, put up with his alcoholism, and finally decided to either leave or kill myself.
After this I joined a carnival for a season which was a trip in itself. At the last stop of the season I met my second husband. We were together for almost 16 years and had one son, who is now 25 years old. My second husband was my dream man, but I guess I screwed it up when I became ill with severe fibromyalgia and depression. He got tired of me always being tired and sick, became unhappy with our marriage, and decided to divorce me. I still miss him terribley, but have come to understand that, if ever given the chance again, I will know how to treat a wonderful, caring gentleman.
After this I went through several men, several changes, and met my present partner. We have been together for over eight years. It hasn't been altogether great, but not horrible. My present partner is somewhat emotionally detached, but treats me okay. We do have fun traveling. He brings me my coffee in the morning and is constantly trying to improve our home to make me comfortable.
One thing I have learned and decided is that each life experience should be looked at as a learning experience. I've also decided that you cannot go through life judging others, picking on the small stuff, being negative, or worrying about what everyone else wants or thinks of you. I'm short, fat, and not very good looking, but I have excepted that fact and am happy with myself. I have alot to offer in the way of friendship, knowledge on many subjects (including religion and cats), have not just "sat there", but have enjoyed and experienced life rather than expecting someone to make happiness for me.
On the negative side-- miscarriages, loss of children to death, sexually abused, physically abused, mentally abused, divorced twice, lost the love of my life, parental death, parental detatchment, having a child with a disability, having a troubled child who stole from me and was physically abusive, depression, tried commiting suicide, being judged because of appearence, being judged because of demeaner....lots of experience in life that could possibley help others. But, I do not believe that you should keep rehashing bad experiences over and over and over. All that does is keep you depressed. Rather, what I have done, is learn from the past, become responsible for my present situation, take care of ME, and enjoy every little beauty. Find love and enjoyment in the simple things of life--a cat's purr and the feel of their soft coat, a flower, the taste of honey right from the hive, a pretty stone, laughing, baking a tasry treat, being proud of your own talents, helping someone learn.

Life In A Bus

Hello World
I titled my blog "Life in a Big Purple Bus" because that is exactly what I live in now. My present partner loves buses and has had several. Two and a-half years ago he had a stroke and had to give up his life work. When he got his settlement we bought an older (1990) Bluebird from the local bus company and then proceeded to convert it into our present home. It has all of the amenities, including a portable toilet.
Anyway, he and I and our two babies (feline children), live in the bus and travel between northern Wisconsin and southern Nevada, depending on the season.
First of all we bought a small pull-along camper, tore everything out, and built the couches, cupboards, tub, and table into the bus. Then we built a bedroom and bathroom in the back using scrape wood and a corner table we all ready had.
We have it set up for 110, 12 volt and propane usage on the furnace, refrigerators (two small ones), t.v.'s, and gas stove/oven. We only have plumbing for the kitchen sink as of yet, but hope to have a shower soon, even though we don't have hot water yet. We have two 50 gallon tanks under the bed for water, filling them about every three weeks and heating water for dishes and sponge baths on the stove. Most of the time we shower at his son's home, at truck stops, or campground facilities, which can be a pain, but works okay.
We finally decided (I think) that instead of a generator we would go with a few marine deep-cycle batteries, inverters, and the bus engine for power when we don't have a place to "plug-in". We have been looking at generators, but have found that we can run the diesel engine cheaper than many generators we have found and batteries and inverters will give us much of the power we need. Most of the time, in the winter when we are down south, we do not use power during the day and only use electricity after dark for television, roaster or microwave, then only for about four to five hours. This generally burns about two to three gallons of fuel, close to a half gallon an hour. The refrigerators stay cool enough with just that little bit of power throughout the day.
Last winter we spent at Lake Mead, outside of Las Vegas, with no electricity and very little water, but made it just fine with running the engine a few hours a day, getting water from the large expensive campsites (free water), showering for $2 each and sponge baths, and dumping at the campsites and restrooms. It worked out very well. The temperature was between 45 degrees Fahrenheit and 80, so we did not have to use the furnace very often.
We had to find different places to park every fifteen days, but there are plenty out there. And the best part of staying in the desert by the lake is IT IS FREE!!! Since we are on a very fixed income, we saved money by not paying for a site, especially near Vegas!!